I had to do it
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My very first encounter with Edson happened early afternoon and to be honest I wasn’t sure of what to expect. I knew he was a life coach, someone who helped people become the person they want to become, adopt new personal habits to always self-improve. All I knew was the fact that I wanted to change, to try things I wouldn’t normally do, like this blog. To stay motivated for the long-term grind and to literally improve my life.
The session began with a video call. It was very simple to begin with, we had a conversation about what I was like as a person, how I worked, what my ambitions were and what I wanted to become. During the conversation, I spoke about what my habits were previously. For example, during University I enjoyed and was committed to playing rugby as well as going to the gym. It made me feel better about myself, I was working hard and most importantly I was improving.
After University my drive and commitment went away. I can blame many other external factors but deep down it was due to these following reasons: I was using my unemployment as an excuse, I would say I would join a gym when I found a job but then would put barely any effort into finding a job. I used the same excuse for rugby, when I found a job, I would join a local team. I was always telling myself that I would do something productive but after a quick online gaming session, as you can guess the productive activity never happened. However, I recently realised the most important reason on why my life was not progressing was; I was accepting it and allowing it to happen by doing nothing. I came to this realisation because of a book I was sent by Edson, it was called Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
“When we saw a comrade smoking his own cigarettes, we knew he had given up on faith” -Viktor Frankl
When I first read this line something had hit me. It’s really hard for me to explain but, someone simply smoking a cigarette had such a profound meaning behind it. When I would go to bed unhappy with the way I am I would always say I would do something, but then I never did. I never understood why or the reason behind the lack of motivation until I read that line. There was nothing more to it than I was allowing it to happen. The man smoking the cigarette is me not doing anything, I had given up on faith. I had to change.
I have learned through a conversation with a family friend, Selina that I was an Obliger. Someone who needed deadlines to work towards and hated to disappoint other people. Knowing this, Edson offered me a deal with a deadline. I had to join a gym within a week and go at least twice a week if not, the coaching would end and that would be it.
Honestly, I could have not joined and forgot about it and carried on accepting my life. But then I thought to myself, why did I contact Edson? Why did I ask for this if I was going to just give up when the time came?
I had to do it.
And so the journey begins…